Thursday 5 January 2012

A long, slow, difficult process

Friends, we made it through another day without our beloved Aimee yesterday. I don't know how long we'll be counting days, and sometimes even hours, of moving forward with our lives. I want to thank all of you who have been praying and asking others to pray, to those who have spoken or written condolences, for our very closest friends and family that have served us here at home- cleaning, answering calls and doors, making arrangements, taking the children out, and doing anything else that needed to be done. Thank you for all the offers of help.

Unless you've experienced this, you can not imagine what this is like, and should not even try. The service on Friday will be powerful and give us some sense of closure, but a large part of me is dreading the flood of emotion and having to say goodbye again. I am also dreading having to move on to "normal" life, because it feels like it won't ever be normal again without Aimee. Everywhere I go there will be reminders that she is not here. On the other hand, I know God is walking with me and my family both spiritually and through the hands and feet of all those he has put around us. Yesterday, He enabled us to go with our pastor and speak with the family of the young woman who was the driver. They are also deeply grieving, but they too share our faith in Jesus as Lord. Please, please pray for Elizabeth. She was not emotionally capable of meeting with us herself, which we completely understood. But we were able to speak to her parents, and they will pass on our words to her. Elizabeth has, God willing, a long life ahead of her and my prayer is that Satan will not even get a toehold on her through this, but that God will redeem this to His glory. We can't (in this life) fully understand how that works, but we've seen abundant evidence of His mercy and grace. If you know me at all, you know that I am not comfortable with strangers and am quiet around those I don't know but God enabled me to speak with these people I only barely knew and to not fall to pieces in front of them. He had strongly placed on my heart that it needed to be done and He provided all we needed to be able to do it.

One thing I have not yet been able to do is walk to the end of the drive to the little memorial that people have lovingly set up there near where the accident happened. Maybe today. I don't know how I'm going to be able to drive past and over where it happened. The thought paralyzes me. Please pray.

Pray also that God will block out the tragic images as well as the "if-onlys" and "what-ifs" that keep coming to plague us- especially the children and most especially Aidan, Kayleigh and, of course, Elizabeth. Tartan has explained to Aidan more than once that God knew of Monday's events even before the world began; that he had measured Aimee's life before life even came into existence; that she has the great joy that Paul said he longed for when he said in Philippians 1:21 "'For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.'"  After serving God by pouring out her joy to everyone she encountered, she has been given the far better.

How am I going to move on past Friday? How am I going to pick up the school books, drive to the dance studio, grocery shop? I think maybe I understand Elijah better, who could in faith call down fire to the altar of God and yet ran away and hid in terror from an angry Jezebel. I know that many friends are willing to help do anything and everything we need done, however I don't want to just become a hermit- as appealing as that actually looks to me right now. I suppose it will have to be a process. A couple of days ago I was wondering how I was ever going to stop crying. The tears have slowed.

I will bring this post to an end with the verse that has been hanging on our wall for years, but that suddenly caught Tartan's eye last night. "But we know that for those who love Him, for those called in agreement with His purpose, God makes all things work together for good" Romans 8:28

Amen.

Naomi

46 comments:

Suzi said...

We are praying for you all and will continue to do so. Your faith is inspiring. Cling to Him as you know you must! God Bless you all.

The Little family (from dance)

Anonymous said...

I am so inspired by your faith. As you know, our sweet Lord and Savior would never give us more then He knows we can handle. He has something great in store for you. Meaning...everything happens for His reason. We may not always understand it nor do we like it, but it is not for us to question. Aimee will be your families guardian angel. Although you would much rather have her here on this earth, you can trust that given the opportunity to come back she wouldnt. She is in the glorious presence of the Lord which we all look forward to being in one day. Know that she went ahead to prepare a place for you and will be there waiting when you arrive. In the meantime she is playing in the clouds and sliding down rainbows without a care in the world. We grieve for ourselves on earth as we know she is where we all strive to be.
May God continue to bless you and know you have many people praying for you.

Susan said...

We love you all and will continue to pray on every remembrance.

Love,

Susan

Kat said...

I am so amazed at the strength you are able to show in your time of extreme sorrow. I have been praying all week for Elizabeth and I truly hope she can see God's will through all of this. I am continuing to pray for strength and peace for all of you. May God bless you and keep you all in his loving arms.

Anonymous said...

Would like you to know that my wife and I in Washington state are joining with you in prayer for you and your family plus Elizabeth.

Doug and Mary Cook (Mark and Jen's parents)

Jan Burger said...

Tartan, Naomi and family. We in Alaska are praying for you. Gail in Albania is also praying. I pray that God will continue to hold all of you and Elizabeth, too, in the palm of his hand, that you will see his glory in all of this. Keep the faith; He who is faithful, will not let you down.

Nikki said...

There are no words. Please know you have inspired me with your faith. My heart breaks for you and your family. Love in Christ.

A Spring resident, and a sister in Christ.

Christiaan said...

Dear Naomi,

I am praying for you, your family and the other people involved. I could not read your post without hurting so badly for you.
Thank you for your transparency. I am praying that the Holy Spirit will be the GREAT Comforter he promises to be and that you'll be wrapped in his love as you grieve.

Unknown said...

As neighbors of yours over here at Faith UMC, please know that many here are praying for your family, as well as Elizabeth and her family. Through mutual friends, we have been able to help with some of the arrangements for the reception tomorrow but that seems so small in the midst of all. If there is any other ways we can help your family or Elizabeth's family, please let us know!

Thank you for the witness of your faith! I always say I cannot imagine going through the storms without that kind of faith in a God that loves us enough to give us our Savior.

And may the peace of Christ which passes all understanding be with you and your family as Aimee's life is celebrated tomorrow!

Harry Vein and the Faith community at Faith UMC

Anonymous said...

Naomi,

I do not know you, but oh, how I've been praying for your and your precious family! I cannot imagine your hurt, but am thankful that or heavenly father holds dear every tear you've shed, and will turn your morning into laughter once again!

Praying strength and courage for you, tomorrow and beyond!

Amy said...

Naomi,

Your faith has always, and continues to be, an amazing and inspiring thing. Christopher wants you to know that he is praying for your family, and Aidan especially. Joshua said he is praying for his friend Kayleigh and he wants to give her a hug when he see's her. As a family our prayers are continually with you and Elizabeth.

The Banes Family

The Thibaults said...

Naomi - Our hearts continue to break for you, Tartan & the kids. We are praying and weaping and praying again and again at every thought of you. We look forward to actually hugging on you in person tomorrow. I will probably not get the right words out of my mouth tomorrow face-to-face, but please know that your family is still so dear to us even though we don't see each other weekly anymore. We would love to serve you in ANY way we can . . . Please know that we will continue to pray and pray and pray as the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months . . .

Much love,
Nikki & Matt & the kids

Megan said...

Naomi,
Thank you for sharing your heart--I am inspired by your wisdom and desire to see this through eternal eyes. I'm praying--may God comfort your family the way only He can!
Blessings,
Megan Larson--a friend of the Kempers

JaimeAnn said...

Sweet Naomi - you and your family are so dear to Jason and I and even though we don't see each other every week anymore, we have continued to hold a special place in our hearts for you all. We are devestated with you and do not have words to say yet. I am thankful that you have Jesus by your side to cling to and to inspire others that have gone through this or will go through this.

You are an inspiration and a mighty family of valour. I look forward to hugging you tomorrow and being there for you. If you need ANYTHING, please do not hesitate to ask.

May God watch over you and give you peace beyond understanding.

Jason & Jaime

Mrs. Dover said...

Praying for God's continued guidance through this difficult time and beyond.

Paula Dover
Resident of Legends Ranch

Kahla said...

We don't know each other, but we live not far and are sending many prayers y'alls way. May God wrap you in comfort during this time.

Unknown said...

Naomi & Tartan,
I am so sorry for your loss. You have such beautiful and talented children, and I know that Aimee was no different.
With condolences and hugs,
Gina (Miller) Stadtner

Michelle Prescott said...

I do not know you but live close by and have been so touched by little Aimee's story. I am so thannkful that you have your faith to help you get through this terrible time. I think that your reaching out to Elizabeth was a wonderful and very kind thing to do. I know you are all suffering but please know, that even us total strangers are thinking about you all and praying for you to have the strength you need at this time.

Michelle
Spring TX

Anonymous said...

I don't know your family but my heart aches for you. I am praying for you and everyone involved and close to you. Strangely, your post inspired me and gave me such hope! The faith you have is remarkable! "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;" Psalm 55:22

Anonymous said...

Lifting your family & Elizabeth in prayer!

Nancy Ludrick said...

I read your post via a link on Facebook. I don't know you but we share the same faith in Christ, so we are sisters in faith. Please know that I am so sorry for the loss of your precious child. I can't imagine the pain. I am praying that the Lord will continue to carry you through the dark days and will shower you with His deep, deep love that never changes.

Much love in Christ,
Nancy Ludrick

Anonymous said...

I will be praying for you all especially tomorrow. I wish I could be there for you to do something else besides that, but can't. May God strenghten and uphold all of you. May he wrap his arms around you.
Love, Susan Reynolds

Anonymous said...

I do not know your family but I am praying for all of you and Elizabeth as well. You are truly inspirational and I am sure that Aimee was blessed to be a part of your loving and faithful family. May God continue to grant you strength.

Robin m said...

Your words are beautiful and somehow so encouraging. Thank you for letting us know how your faih is sustaining you through this. That has been our prayer for you and it will continue to be our prayer.

Becky & Matthew said...

Precious Naomi & family,
We have been out of town all week, but got word from Jeffe Ready on Tuesday about precious little Aimee. Our hearts were so broken for all of you, and we have had you and Elizabeth in our prayers all week. We were so touched to get home tonight and read the words you all have shared ... such strength in our Lord Jesus. Tartan's words to Aiden really reflect the fatherhood of God. WE all take comfort in those words from the scriptures. WE love you,
Becky Sue & Matthew

Anonymous said...

What beautiful words. Please know that I am lifting you and your sweet family up in prayer. Thank you for sharing this post and your faith. Even in such a difficult time you are an inspiration. God bless you and your dear family.

-Natalie Kelly

NSly said...

Your family and Elizabeth have been in my thoughts and prayers all week. I have pass by your house everyday yo pray for you.

i now have now read your words and I am in awe of your strength. I can not even fathom what you are going through. Continue to find strength in the God to bring you through even when you do not think you can make it.

Your sister in Christ and your neighbor in Spring,

Nicki Sylvester

Anonymous said...

You are an amazingly strong woman who is certainly grounded in Christ. I praise God for your pastor, your church family and your close friends. Your faith and belief is so strong. Amen!! God be with you and your family today and always. I have never met you or your family but my heart truly goes out to you and your family. God be with you all.
Love and Hugs,
Annie Rosa - Legends Run Resident

Mary Beth said...

We are praying, there are no words. We grieve with hope for our own daughter, Maria who was struck in our drive way by a car driven by her brother. He adored her. The pain has been unbearable at times yet God is redeeming and showing us more of Himself. I am just so sorry for your pain, your loss, and the confusion you must feel in the midst of knowing Jesus is near. Praying peace as you walk these next days.

Peace,
Steven and Mary Beth Chapman

Melinda Huskey said...

Know that as you face the difficult walk ahead, that many people are holding you up in prayer. Our homeschooling community here in Tennessee is praying for you. I posted your blog today because I believe it is an example of extreme faith and forgiveness and love. We really are here just a short time and we will be reunited together. It is the separation that seems unbearable. We have a daughter Kate who is waiting there as well.
I pray you will find strength in others around you. Melinda Huskey, (Mark's sister)

Anonymous said...

I don't personally know you, but I'm your sister through Christ and my family has been touched by the words of your blog. I feel the Spirit as I read every word from your broken heart, but I can also feel the strength that comes only from Jesus!! We will continue to remember your family, as well as Elizabeth and her family in our prayers.

John 14 was used, as is common for reassurance of His promise, at my daddy's funeral. As Jesus was preparing his disciples for his great departure, he shared the words from this chapter with them to comfort them I wanted to share
these great words spoken by our Savior to comfort you and your family:

"And where I go you know, and the way you know."

John 14:4

May you close your eyes and feel the most loving arms of
Jesus wrapped around you at this very moment, as He
knows your heartbreak more than anyone. Walland, Tennessee

Anonymous said...

We here in Tennessee are praying for you and Elizabeth. Your faith in God is such a witness to His life in you. Thank you for sharing. I know it is not easy.

Rebecca

Trish said...

We will be praying for you during this difficult time.You are inspiring. Thank you for your faith.

Trish (in Maryland)

The Petersons (Anna Rosa's family) said...

Lifting up your family in prayer today, and will continue to do so.

Alia Burns said...

We are praying for you. Know that your family, especially our sweet Kayleigh, is heavy on our hearts. Linden sends her love to her favorite friend. May God continue to carry you on this difficult journey.

-Alia Burns

Debbie Gott said...

I just got the news about dear little Aimee's homegoing. My family will be praying for all of you as you walk through this difficult time. You are not alone in the physical realm or in the spirit realm in this.

Debbie Gott

Willie Harrison.Aberdeen[BSF] said...

Dear Tartan and Naomi we are so sorry to hear about Aimee.We are praying that you will know our Fathers sustaining grace.
'Your path led through the sea,your way through the mighty waters,though your footprints were not seen.'psalm 77v19

Anonymous said...

I have no words of wisdom to offer you, but I promise you my prayers for your family. I am so thankful to read of your strong faith in our God, and I know He will provide what you need during this unimaginable time, no matter whether that need is physical, mental, or emotional. Even in this tragedy, you are glorifying Him as you share with people around the world the joy that is found in Christ. Never stop leaning in to Him.

Much love,
Brooke Sumrall
Nimitz High School, 1986

Crafty Mamma said...

I am praying that God will give you and your family the enormous amount of strength you need today and from today on. Seek within your family and children to bring you that strength. That will give you more strength than you ever thought you had. The Lord is with you in this awful experience.

Crafty Mamma said...

I am praying that God will give you and your family the enormous amount of strength you need today and from today on. Seek within your family and children to bring you that strength. That will give you more strength than you ever thought you had. The Lord is with you in this awful experience.

Anonymous said...

Naomi and family,

I heard what happened to sweet little aimee!
I have been praying for god to give me the words to say when I see you next, but he has none for me, all I hear is pray! So I will! I grew up in a family much like yours, with strong faith, love, and forgiveness! I am thankful everyday that my parents gave that to me. I see how loving your children are, they will be thankful too!

Much love and prayers,

Nikki Fussell
Golden Shears

Lisa Railey said...

I love you. We will not stop praying.

The Ferreira Family said...

Our family here in Spring as well as across the ocean in South Africa are all keeping your family close in our hearts and prayers. Words seem to fall short from the inspiration you all hold in your hearts. Your Faith and Trust in our Lord will continue to bring you all strength and courage.

Be brave, you can do this with His guiding love.

Anonymous said...

praying for grace and peace and hope and strength for each day

Deana Giuliani said...

We just heard about Aimee. Please know your family is in our thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Deana Giuliani

Anonymous said...

Many from the St. Louis, Missouri community are praying for your family and Elizabeth's family. We are inspired by your faith and wish you comfort and peace.

New Hope Church