There is a stump way in the back of our yard near the pond where I go and sit almost every day; sometimes twice in a day. It's where I go to think about Aimee and grieve. I hate that she's gone. There is healing in my heart, but I miss her so much. The children all seem to be doing well. They miss her, too, but they seem very resilient. Willing to give it to God and move on. I seem to have to hand it to God over and over again. There are so many reminders and then I also think of the things I'll never do with her or see her do. I think Tartan's experience is similar, but from a daddy perspective.
I know this sounds very melancholy- but it doesn't take up most of my day anymore. We've settled into new routines and there are many things that keep me busy and happy most of the time. It's easy to think I'm perfectly fine, but I'm not fully there yet and I don't know when I will be. There are still a few things I don't do and a few that I don't do well. I'm starting to believe that I will be able to do them eventually though, whereas before I thought it would be impossible. I don't know if I'll ever be able to say I've accepted what happened, but hopefully that I can live with it until I get Home. I find that there is happiness and joy in our lives again. Amazing how God can do that.
If you've been praying for us, please know God has heard those prayers and he's answering them, but there's no rushing Him. If you continue to pray, pray for comfort and reassurance. For me, pray that I can continue to trust God.
We have not spoken to Elizabeth's family in a while so I have to guess at how best to pray for her. Please pray for assurance of God's love and presence in her life. Pray for healing and comfort in her heart.
Trusting even when it's hard,
Naomi for the Colliers