I know people have been checking our blog to see how we are doing. I have wanted to post something but just have not had an inspiration of words.
On the one hand, I can't quite bring myself to say we're better, or at least that I am. On the other, the pain is not so constant. Our counselor continues to stress (gently) that when thoughts come up or when I'm just feeling down, that that is a signal I need to grieve and so I've filled out a grief inventory to help me focus on the loss and not the circumstances. It's difficult, but apparently necessary. I'm not usually a very emotional person so these daily upheavals are wearying, and honestly, sometimes frustrating.
I'm driving again- not a lot, but I am. I'm dropping the girls off at the dance studio a couple of times a week and I'm grocery shopping. Yesterday I had a longer drive. Longer than necessary actually because I got myself all turned around the wrong way. That cloak of melancholy still hangs over me wherever I go, too. The hardest thing now is when I'm feeling okay and then suddenly I'm not. Sometimes there's a trigger but other times it just comes out of the blue.
A dear friend shared a verse with me from Proverbs that describes how I often am.
Proverbs 14:13a "Even in laughter the heart may ache"
Our continued thanks for your prayers.
Trusting in the grace of Jesus,
PS I was going to post this yesterday, but didn't get around to actually sending it in. Today Tartan took a day off and we went as a family to Main Event. We ate and bowled and had a really fun time. It felt good to have a great time together. I am reminded of God's goodness to us.